I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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