ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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