Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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