haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
