ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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