I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
