We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Boobs speak an international language.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
