He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
