If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
