eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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