I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
ugly people sure do ruin things
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
