i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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