he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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