i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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