YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
