The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
