So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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