My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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