can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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