all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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