dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
