So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
