we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
