:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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