so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
