Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize