We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You can't motorboat a personality
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
