Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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