Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
