im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she told me i tasted like america
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
