My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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