I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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