I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
