Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I look better un-naked...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
