i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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