I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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