I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
