Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
