I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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