Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize