Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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