Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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