I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
