the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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