She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
