you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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