if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
