Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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