is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
