He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
