So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
my liver is dry heaving
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
