I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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