we have officially lost it.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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