3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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