Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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