you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
