and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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