You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
