when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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