oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
