Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
